As she watched her husband walk towards her in what seemed like an eternity, with a face of horror and shaky legs, nothing would prepare Esmin Davis Spence for the news that she was about to receive.
Her only child had lost his life in a motor vehicle crash. That was 20 years ago but the memory is poignant in Spence’s mind, and the grief, though subsided, still tugs at her heart as she remembers her 26 year old son Paul Mattocks.
“I was at the hairdresser under the dryer when I saw my husband walking towards me with shaky legs, as if something was wrong, as if he was taking forever to make about 10 steps to come to me,” recalled Spence.
“He said Paul was in a crash, and my immediate response was ‘which hospital is he in’?”
But the look on her husband’s face indicated the horror he was about to reveal. Nothing could prepare her for his answer.
“He then said to me, ‘he didn’t make it’, at that point, it sounded as if he was speaking French, I couldn’t understand anything, I went into an immediate shock and I felt like I was in a dream,” Spence said.
She recalled how her son - a graduate of the University of the West Indies, Mona, and a gym fanatic with a passion for life - was killed about 5:30 am on October 29, 1996 while driving at the intersection of Red Hills and Constant Spring roads.
A public passenger bus, which was overtaking, slammed into Paul's car, pinning him against a wall at Brooklyn Supermarket, Constant Spring Road. The driver of the bus later admitted to 39 breaches of the Road Traffic Act, including five breaches for disobeying the red light, not stopping at bus stops, disobeying a continuous white line, dangerous driving and two breaches of careless driving.
Every detail of the last time Spence saw her son alive remains fresh in her mind.
“He was on his way to the gym before going to work. I saw him the morning, I was lying in bed, he came to the door, winked at me and I waved at him. Later on, as he was driving across the intersection, the bus hit the back of his car, and he was killed in the impact even though he was wearing his seatbelt,” she said.
Jamaica will commemorate World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims (WDR) on Sunday, November 20, bringing into focus the fact that road deaths and injuries are sudden, violent and traumatic events. WDR is commemorated on the third Sunday of November each year, to remember the millions killed and injured globally on the world’s roads, together with families, friends and all those affected.
Motor vehicle crashes have long-lasting and often permanent effects on friends and family members, said Paula Fletcher, Executive Chairman of the National Road Safety Council (NRSC).
"Most of these crashes can be prevented by exercising caution and keeping in mind that it is our responsibility as individuals to protect ourselves by obeying the rules of the road, and drivers must drive defensively, anticipating what can go wrong on the road and using avoidance tactics. Such tactics and practices include, and can be as simple as always using safety devices, putting your cell phone away (drivers as well as pedestrians), driving within the speed limit, obeying traffic signals and signs and not drinking and driving,” Fletcher said.
“Road safety is about keeping families together and each of us need to play a role. Ensure that your vehicle is licensed and properly serviced, adhere to the road code, and look out for each other,” he added.
Spence has had a difficult journey traversing the memories of the day she heard the news, but said that it is important to have a support system in place immediately, as that is what provided her coping and survival mechanisms.
“In my case, my husband called my medical doctor who is also a family friend and my pastor Rev J Oliver Daley, so I had immediate support getting medication to keep me calm and having my pastor stand by me.” Spence said.
Paul’s friends still reach out tol her on the anniversary of his death.
“One never truly recovers from the loss of a loved one,” she said. “It is a journey. The difference between then and now is what I have done along the journey that has put me in a position to look back and to have a testimony.
"Over the 20 years I have put things in place to honour his name: an endowment fund to assist welfare activities at his alma mater Ardenne High School, donations of his books to the UWI, donations to the Jamaica Society for the Blind, and the Kingston YMCA,” she continued.
Spence is imploring drivers of larger units, specifically buses to be mindful of other road users, “The buses and trucks are not weapons, and the drivers should not use them as a tool to intimidate and put others in danger. Take your time, you may be reckless and endanger the life of a breadwinner, a mother, a father, a daughter or a son, be careful out there.”